By Jim Robertson
The species Homo sapiens woke up this morning to a sudden collective realization that they are plant eating primates, not some Tyrannosaurus-like super predators. Instantly, as if waking with a start from a bad dream, it came to each and every human at exactly 8:00 a.m. that all their problems would be solved if they changed their carnivorous ways.
By day’s end, with the whole of humanity now born again vegan, people begin to feel better than ever—revitalized—with a glow of guilt-free contentment. World hunger eases and peace seems actually attainable since folks have moved beyond their longing for animal flesh. And the once hunted and farmed animals rejoice, knowing that two-leggers are now treating them with fairness and respect.
It’s been a long time coming and not a moment too soon. This day will be known as Happy Vegan Day, a time when all people exchange cruelty-free gifts in honor of the glorious occasion.
Jim Robertson is author of Exposing the Big Game: Living Targets of a Dying Sport.
For a great vegan holiday recipe: Whole Roasted Cauliflower, visit: